How to be successful on dating apps (Girls version)
For a few years dating apps have been becoming one of the most frequent way people date new people. But a lot of people hate them, complain about them and tell they are not efficient.
The article is aiming at describing the best way to use dating apps when you are a girl
What are the existing dating apps ?
If you have ever wanted to try a dating app your first question was probably "what app will I choose ?". A few years ago the answer was easy: Tinder. But over time Tinder is becoming less and less the best app to use.
There are basically two kind of datings apps :
- Tinder like (Tinder, Bumble, Happn, Badoo, Hinge...) : These are apps in which the physicial appearance is in the heart of the app, most of these apps work with the swiping mechanism that let you like or dislike a some unlikely realistic pictures of a person
- Meetic like (Meeting, Match, OkCupid, SeekingArangement, AshleyMadison,...) : These are apps in which the writing conversation and the appearance is most important
- Niche app (the league,...) : They don't have a lot of users, they are centered on one specific topic
Usually apps of type 1. advertise themselves as a way for people to meet for short term relationships wherase apps of type 2, tell they are for long term relationships. Which is mostly true, when you center your app on physicial appearance it will be difficult to find something else than a short relationship.
So far nothing new
How to use Tinder-like apps efficiently
There are only a handfull of cases in which a girl should want to use a dating app: - If you are looking for quick sex with very attractive guys - If you have specific physical attraction chracteristics (you only like gus with abs, you only guys with blue eyes,...) - If you are not looking for anything specific and want to meet people and you are not picky
The explanation of that is simple:
Most guys on dating apps want love but will end up having fun.
It is very difficult for a guy on dating app to stand out from the crowd. During each swipe session a girl will always see and match tons of very handsome guys, so why would they pick someone random ? As a result girls tend to all match with the same most attractive guys and will think those guys are interested in them ( because well, they matched with them).
And guys will feel that they can match with some attractive girls (but those girls wont talk to them) and they can talk to under average girls.
There is a good article about Gini coefficient applied to dating here that explains the issue
To sum up, those apps are good at creating unballanced relationship in which the girl is much more physicaly interested in guy than the other way around. In those kind of relationship girls will want to secure the guy long term, and guys will only want to have sex. And we will have the "Guys are only interesed in sex" complain
If you are a girl and want to take advantage of that put in your mind that those apps are only for sex. As a girl do you need a dating app to find for sex ? No, unless you are in the cases mentionned above.
Don't use a Tinder-like app to find a serious relationship you will be disapointed
How to use Meetic-like apps efficiently
Don't use them, it is usually a bad choice to look for love, if you are obssessed about looking for love you will probably spend your time being unhappy, because the most important thing when it comes to successful serious relationship is feeling, and it is very difficult to test feeling though a photo, a written conversation or a bio.
If you are searching for love, just think to something else, meet new people, be open to new ideas, go to events, meet with friends, spend time with people, smile when you walk, answer nicely to guys who approach you even if they dont look like Tom cruise, exercise frequently, feel confident about how you look and about you are, be at your BEST. This is probably the only efficient way to not be disapointed, finding someone with which you like being is hard and you will not detect that on a picture.
After that if you still feel like you want to try those apps, you will find out that in average guys take dating more seriously and you will easily have solid and deep conversations on interesting subjects as long as you put a little bit of effort bootstrating those conversations, but be carefull with one thing, the way someone is able to express himself by writting can be very different from what he does orally, so do not wait too long before meeting in person to not be disapointed after a lot of involvement virtually.
Don't forget that dating apps are businesses and a business to be viable need to make money. How can you make money when doing your job well will make you loose all your users ? This is not possible with the Tinder business model (An article will come soon on this subject). These companies's goals are to keep you as a customer, and the only way for you to keep being a customer is that you dont find a relationship.